Chill!

Everything in life, EVERYTHING is figure it outaable! So Chill!

Thought of the day

You have to be very disciplined to be a nice person consistently!

Choose your Battles!

Caution: It’s a BRAIN DUMP.

Life is WEIRD.. yeah I tried to come up with a better adjective but I feel this describes it the best. It’s happy sometimes and suddenly it’s gloomy. It’s simple sometimes yet very hard otherwise. No, actually life is Easyyy, it’s our brain that makes it tough. The brain tries to DO everything, HAVE everything and BE everything and that is what makes life difficult.

Why am I writing this? I have realized that more often than not it’s we who make our lives hard… We chase things, even if we are not sure that, that’s what we want. We go after people, who might not even be important in our life. We create these castles of expectations in our heads and keep convincing ourselves that those are just imaginary. But when they do turn out to be imaginary in real life we get upset. Is it just me? Hope not.

If you are anywhere like me, then I am sure you can think of life situations like these, where you made your life harder, when in reality, it was not worth your energy and time. For me, it’s keeping up the communication. How should I describe it… I am an introvert and it drains me to stay connected with people and make effort to stay in touch just for the sake of it, especially in a professional setup. Do not take me wrong, people in my personal life and whom I am comfortable with would suggest that I do not shut up. However, when it comes to contacting people and reaching out that is not one of my attributes and I believe every other person struggles with that. However, I used to think that not being good at networking is harming me, it might but is it worth doubting myself? maybe not.

I’m just trying to say choose your battles. Do not let your mind fool you into believing that everything is important and everything has to happen. Getting too preachy here maybe but just one conclusion, before you take everything too seriously in your life, love yourself enough access if it’s worth you. But yeah, Love yourself but don’t take yourself too seriously. Life is a marathon, not a sprint, hence nothing could be game-changing, saying this in a positive sense. Think about it!!

Aditi 🙂

Hero ka dost!

Every movie… let me correct every Bollywood movie has these main characters. A boy and a girl who love each other. Parents who are either exceptionally cruel or cringingly sweet, some goons and One FRIEND!! The one who goes out of the way in every sense. Breaks rules, fights, chases everything and finally talks some sense into the boy so that in the end the same boy can end up as a Hero!!! Yes, let’s talk about that Hero ka dost!!! because I feel, that’s the most neglected character and could be the most inspiring.

I can expect that this is might not be making sense to many people right now but think!! We all aspire to be a hero in our stories. Like the hero, we aspire to achieve everything. Money, fame, love and respect, however, all this rush sometimes lead to chasing superficial things in life. We do aspire to have a healthy relationship with our family and our partner. However, along with that, we wish to excel at everything we do and be the main character of the story which causes us to seek validation and whatnot. In all this, we forget being the hero ka dost! No, I am not saying that being the main character of our own story is bad in any sense but we should also aspire to have traits of a hero ka dost! In the movie called life, there are more intense emotional twists than any action sequence. And to go through this, we need care and support and also someone who can go all out for us. And to expect it from someone else is not rational but trying to be that for someone in your life could be good! Isn’t it?

As we grow older, we start losing people. The race to be the main character forces us to focus on a few things and leave out the rest. However, once in a while we should consider being that hero ka dost! Keep our story aside and let someone else take the lead. Be there for someone completely without judgements and expectations. Be Murari to someone’s Kundan or Partick to someone’s SpongeBob!

I would admit, I am not at all that person. I shut off when something big is happening in my life and often that leads me to not be there for my friends. But… one good thing about life is you can always start today! Writing it here is like making a big commitment and I am realizing that being this person is way tough than any other character but one can try. You can not always be there and there is a limit to everything but you can always try… The world has too many people chasing the big things but once in a while, we can also aspire to be more kind, Helpful, Forgiving, and supportive basically being that Hero ka Dost!

The Burger at the 86th floor of Empire State Building

This picture was clicked by me in December 2018…..yeah I am not a good photographer but I am good at preserving memories in my head (still not sure if it’s a blessing or a curse).

I started writing this in 2019 but then life happened..  I think these memories have become even more precious now.  As we have been locked in due to the pandemic the only nation we can go to is imagination… and it sure feels surreal now but I guess all good memories feel like it.. 

I went to New York to visit my sister after finishing my masters and honestly I didn’t think I will like New York. No, I didn’t have any grudges and I am a biggg F.R.I.E.N.D.S fan so, visiting New York was on my bucket list. Even though the coffee place wasn’t there where the story was… so I reached NYC and had a perfect welcome by my Nephew.. the moment that I have written about.. Unsaid… Unpictured …Unordinary

One more memory that I cherish from my trip is what I wish to share here.. It was winter time in New York but as I came from the country up north I survived. One day, we roamed around the city like a normal tourists and covered all the important spots, and there came the time for Empire State Building.. Yess the one! After debating a lot about the view, we chose night view over the day one. I am not a rom-com fan so didn’t know about the sleepless in Seattle value of the place(I have just heard about the movie so sorry if wrong reference) however, I was excited to watch the top view of the GREATEST city on earth.

After loitering in the city for an entire day we were starving and made a wise decision to stop at Burger King before we go to the Empire State. It was too late and we were not taking my nephew with us so we decided to get the burgers packed and will eat on the commute so to finish our visit quickly. We took the DSLR and entered the great building. I loved how in New York, one second you are just walking on the street and on next you are in the most famous places on earth.

When we entered I got to know that we took the ticket for 86th floor and the building is taller than that and guess what?! there is a restaurant on the top floor. I looked at the packed burgers I had in my hands and just smiled … Thinking like a regular 20s kid that some dayy.. u know the rest! My sister took all the touristic picture of me the ground floor (she had already been there so ) and we headed directly to 86th floor.

The nerd in me loved the historic description of the building and how it was built and finally, we headed out… I am not exaggerating but the view from the top was mesmerising! No don’t compare to the photo above.. let me get to it. As it was late, there were very less people there. The wind was chilly and there it was the most beautiful sight… The city that never sleeps twinkles in front of our eyes. Remember sometimes you see something beautiful and you take a deep breath to absorb it all in… (If you don’t do that you probably should) this was that moment for me.

We looked around from all sides and recognised a few buildings from the top. The city looked real calm from up there, that above all the hustle bustle was quiet and we could only see the bird’s view of all skyscrapers… glowing… I took out the camera and funny! its battery was dead.. (no judgement, if you roam around an entire day in New York.. this is normal) We tried to take pictures but all came out of focus. We kept the camera down and thought to enjoy the moment but then the burgers caught my eyes. (Yeah so me!)

I was worried that food might not be allowed there but then Indian in us thought to not care. We both took our burgers and started eating.. there we were .. on top of the world (quite literally).. no chitchats around, cold breeze playing with our hair.. just US!!!! with our cold but tastiest burgers.. No I am not romanticising the burger but the moment.. because in that moment I realised.. It’s not the fancy restaurants or expensive clothes that one should aim for in life but MOMENTs like theseeee!

I cherished every second on that building there and came back home with a big smile on my face.. I have to be honest, New York did made me dream of a extravagant life that one has there but for me no fancy meal could ever be as beautiful as this moment that I had with JIJI.. Yeah It was New York and Empire State Building but it was HER that made everything worth it!

Maa ki Bachpan ki dost.. :)

School friends.. Bachpan wale dost… Bhut khas hote hai No matter how many people you meet afterwards, your bond with them is super special and this is the reason we often find ourselves telling the younger siblings or nephews to cherish these moments..

I remember when I was in second standard or so whenever me and Arti use to fight.. Arti’s Mumma use to say ” Abhi sath reh lo.. lado nahi.. fir baad me sab alag ho jate hai..” sometimes we forget our parents are people too.. HAHA I mean, that time I didn’t realize that while saying this Aunty must be missing her ‘Bachpan ki Saheliya’ and trying to relive those moments through us 🙂 …

All this reminds me of one such experience with me and Maa… When I was in 12th standard or maybe first year Ma said she wants to go for her school friends’ son’s wedding.. Papa was busy and I could see she really wanted to go so I volunteered.. I said I will go with you.. her eyes TWINKLED.. she got so excited and started packing..

We left early morning by train. It was a three hour ride to Aalot ( A town nearby). The train was full and we hardly found a place to sit but Maa was too happy to notice. Through out the way, she told me all her school stories. How in that time they were the only four five girls in the entire high school .. Maa had set a good example for us (her three daughters).. she told me how her and her friends were inseparable in school but as they were all married at around 18 they lost contact.. As she was saying this I could feel that those memories were as fresh as yesterday to her.. (If you know my mumma, you can imagine her cute smiley face here)

We reached the station and to my surprise, there were no autos but Tangas (Horse carts) I was a bit skeptical but Maa was her teenage self 🙂 she just hopped on so I had to too.. This was my first experience in a Tanga and I admit it was a fun ride .. with Maa constantly smiling and asking ‘mazedar hai na’ . As I am a bit introvert, meeting new people is not something I look forward to but what happened next really surprised me.. a pleasant surprise..

As we reached her home, Maasi ( Mumma’s friend) came and they had the most special hug.. I am pretty sure they must have discussed this moment back in school that how they will be there for each other and about their future kids and all ( Trust me ALL GIRLS DO) ,, then she looked at me she went like ADITIIII as if she has known me forever.. this was the first time I was meeting her but I could see where it came from.. She had known mom forever and I look like her ( My biggest flex) then her family members came and all treated Maa like they were all waiting for her to arrive.. it really filled me with pure joy.. and I could understand.. if I would meet Arti even after 20 years my reaction would be same..

The wedding went well. I didn’t know anyone there still we danced.. Maa was beside her friend through all the ceremonies.. performing the duty of a best friend.. and Me.. I was a happy spectator.. watching Maa as HERSELF and not being someone’s Maa or wife or daughter-in law.. we headed back for home in the evening

This was the first time that just Maa and me took a trip together and I could see how happy she was.. Whenever I use to score well in school, Maa used to be like ” Padhti toh nahi hai pta nahi kese number aate hai” HAHA but that day I knew she was proud of me. I think that day she found a friend in me.

Many times we get so busy in our own lives that we miss our parent’s special moments with them and I am so glad for this short trip.. it really brought me and Maa closer ( The chord is still attached to my heart.. ) 🙂 .. (I sometimes hate that I remember everything but when I remember incidents like this even after years it all pays up..) Hope it brings a smile to your face too as I am smiling like an idiot right now… 🙂 🙂

Unsaid… Unpictured …Unordinary

I have read somewhere ‘Best moment are often those which are not captured’ and Best words in life are often left unsaid. I disagree with both these statements. No, not because I am a big social media fan. I think the best moments are those which make you feel like, wish you had a camera somewhere and you could relive it a million times. Like a ‘Trueman show ‘ movie, someone would have captured that precious moment. Furthermore, in this world filled with envy and rage, why keep the best words unsaid? With this being said…written, I want to share one of the memories, which is uncaptured but not unsaid (also, writing is a foolproof way to preserve the memories).

I finally got my US visa after being rejected by the US customs once. I was on top of the world. Yeah, USA is a very beautiful country but this excitement was not exactly for the place. It was the excitement of a Masi, who would be seeing her nephew after 1 year. I did not wait to book my tickets, even before my passport with visa stamp actually arrived I had my bus tickets with me. Yeah, I was going to New York by bus. I wanted to be in two countries at once(fancy right!!), so I chose a road trip to New York. I wished to notice the change in vegetation, climate, people as I moved from one country to the other.

I finally took my bus, the US customs’ people did not have any horns on their heads as I imagined. They easily gave me approval to cross the border. One young girl took the seat of an elderly person as she got down to get something at the gas station cafe. They had our Indian Local bus kind of fight which was fun(Don’t judge). Technically the young girl was not doing anything wrong but I realized people in the USA are not as kind as Canada. I offered her my window seat after that. I was anyway busy with my diary and thoughts(what a nerd..).Slowly the climate was a bit warmer and Tim Hortons were replaced by Dunkin Donuts.

I finally reached Manhattan. My sister and brother-in-law came to pick me up. I was happy to see them. Yeah, Advait(my nephew) was still in school so we quickly left.  On our way to their place, I had already seen Empire state building, a glimpse of Time square and the famous Macy’s store and subway duh!!  We reached to my sister’s place and I MET ADVAIT. He was 3 years old then but I had only seen him thrice so you can imagine. I was even worried that he will recognize me that the cartoon who keep annoying him on video calls every day is me? Turned out he was excited too that I was coming. For 5 minutes he just kept staring at me smiling and I could see he was equally happy to see me. I might be sounding crazy to you but staying away from the family makes you cherish these moments a lot.

We continued with our chores, we adults (haha ok can’t pull it off even here) were having our conversation about the US- Canada border. Advait was on the couch watching Peppa Pig, can’t take Peppa lightly. Basically, everyone was busy on their own. It was one of those days in life which are extraordinarily simple.

Suddenly, Advait said -MASIIII (smiling)… I looked at him… and suddenly he said I LOVE YOU MASI. I couldn’t respond for a minute. He was beaming. Wish any word could do justice to the feeling.  This is the first time in life someone had said that to me on my face (No need to feel bad for me…  It’s just in this digital world, usually, people prefer to text or call to express feelings as strong as love). He was 3 years olds, making me realize this is as pure as it could be. I finally said I love you too Aadi and went and hugged him. He went back to watching Peppa Pig.  It felt like, at that moment he looked at me felt that and just said it. Not like us grown-ups who think twice before anything and everything.  I am pretty sure he did think it was that a big deal but for me it was.

Now you might understand why I said- best moments are those which make you feel like you had a camera around which could have captured an original..candid..moment as that. My trip was made. On that trip, I saw all the tourist places in New York, went to see Boston. Harvard, Yale, MIT all the famous universities(cool places in my terms). Overall, we went to many world-famous places, took millions of pictures but the uncaptured moment that I mentioned is the best thing I took back with me from that trip. Wish it was captured at least it’s not unsaid. Now every time I remember New york I have a smile on my face.

Us being us

 

 

Pencil…

I picked up a pencil to write in my diary… In a way, I thought maybe I can erase the mistakes and will save only the happy moments to cherish… but just after two lines the nib is not supporting me, this shacking pencil is a symbol that a strong nib is more important… in life too,  dare to grab a pen and allow yourself to make mistakes..

I fell in love!!…on the very first day…

Even leaving for Delhi from Garoth wasn’t easy, but this time I was leaving the country… No, I did not look back. How could I? The two people who I love the most ( love is a very small word actually ) were standing at the gate, looking back would have made me cry. I guess this is how life is…  new life, new adventures, learning, experiences were all on the other side of the sea waiting, so I boarded the flight.

This is the first time I was flying after growing up(pretending to be a grown-up), that too on international waters. It was a 6:30 am flight, but, I was not at all tired. For people who know me, by that I mean even if you have talked to me for 30 min, may know that I love everything related to an Aircraft, Airports, flight crew and especially the people who fly them PILOTS :p … The plane took off ..  Considering how lazy I am, it is kind of obvious that I did not do the web check-in and hence did not get the window seat, but still like a 4-year-old I could not contain my excitement. I tried my best to see whatever I can from the aisle seat… And there they were… beautiful clouds following me to the foreign land(Do not laugh!! the view was that poetic). I first landed in Heathrow, London but it was just a two-hour halt, I couldn’t see enough of it so I can brag..(damn you flight schedules).

I finally landed in MONTREAl, it was 4:30 pm there, on my way I met some Indian people who were going to Montreal as well, who by the way knew one of my sister’s friend. Yes, it was just an 18-hour flight but we (Choudharys)are everywhere so don’t be amused. I finished the formalities and finally got my study permit. oh! what a great time to tell. Yes, I went there to study at McGill. By the time everything was over it was 8:30pm. No, they are not that slow, we were handfull.

I stepped out of the airport and guess what!! there was perfect daylight at 8:30pm. I thought maybe my watch is not working fine and maybe the phone isn’t synced yet as well so I ignored it(Mann I realized about this reality the hard way). I had (my sister) had already booked a hostel for me to stay and I had the detailed instruction chart about how to get there. It was a lot..bus then metro then walk. I did not take the taxi (which I got scolded for,  hard life of a younger sibling I tell you * eye-roll*) the fair for the taxi was $50 and my mind was not even over the Indian time zone so conversion and all you know the rest… Also, I have boarded Delhi metro for 3 years, yes even at Rajiv chowk so come on!! I did not regret the long route… I have that day crystal clear in my memory. Let me tell you this long journey and how I fell in love with the people there on the very first day..

I had two 23 kgs bags and a 12 kg one too( Don’t tell the flight people), I boarded the bus somehow.. there, people helped me with my bags. Even when we hear Canada, We imagine a person saying thank you or sorry so this much was expected. I reached Metro station, mind you!  it was not dark still… I struggled hard with my bags there but then someone came to help me out. I boarded the metro. I didn’t have any problem with the route thanks to Delhi Metro training but when I sat there the speed, oh my god! both my bags had wheels and it was hard to hold them. Back home even if you have to get down after 4 stations you stand on the gate because of the crowd but there were not many people so I just sat there till my station was announced. The thing that I did not realize was train do not stop for 1 min like India but for 15 seconds. The station came, I froze I did not know how to manage 3 bags, me, everything…  I till date do not know how my 3 co-passenger made it possible to get down..  they put my bags and even had to push me out.

I gained my senses in some time and I realized what just happened. I got out of the metro station and now when I had to walk in a strange city now it was dark.. ugh… I,  very much like Joey Tribianni took out my physical copy of the map and tried to figure out the way to my hostel. First, a  man in a three-piece suit, (how the MBA students look on their orientation days) saw this lost tourist… ME.. and asked if I needed some help. He opened his phone app and tried helping me, then came another guy, exactly how all these Rappers look with funky clothes and a cigarette (or..) in his hand came to help me. Both of them figured out the way together. This was the first amusing sight for me. Don’t get me wrong but we often judge people by there appearance but it seemed like those two, who were exactly opposite looking did not care about it at all.

I moved on the way they told me. It was 10.00pm, in any other situation, I would have been a little bit worried about being out this late but there I was so lost and wanted to reach hostel that I did not even care about the time. It was a long walk and suddenly someone said, do you need help? I was getting used to this sentence. Three people who saw me struggling with bags heavier than I, came and said they will walk me to my destination. I handed over them one trolly bag and started walking. Now when I think of it I wonder, why I was not sceptical or how I trusted them? Maybe again, I was too tired to care. I definitely remember thinking even if they steal the bag, the best thing in the bag that they will find is Achar (Homemade pickle).

We walked for 10 minutes, chatted, they were the type of people we see in the movies, living the life we fantasize. finally!!  there I read Old Montreal Hostel. I reached and then finally while handing me over my bags (yes by this time all my bags were with them) the girl hugged me and said have a good life and stay safe. This touched me, maybe in all the chaos, these simple words mean a lot more than emotional paragraphs. I felt very happy at that moment and yeah I could say I fell in love with the country.. not exactly country for now but with the people.

No, no I know I have bored you all enough but the story isn’t over yet… My room was on the 4th floor with no elevators. When I finally reached with some help obvious by now.  I informed everyone back home that I reached safely… For the record, while I was living one of the best time everyone was worried because I did not have anything to communicate that I landed safely and taxi thing you know..

I set on my bed, called my best friend and then realized Oh **** what have I done. In all the hustle of getting all the exams done, university applications, visa, for the entire year. I completely forgot that I will be in a strange country, with no people I know of and I will not be able to meet my people for at least a year… I will be honest I cried over the phone. Turned out those were just the tears of nervousness and tiredness. The next two years that I lived there, the people I met, and the memories I made will last forever with me. I am glad I did not think much and went for it… I love my Country the most but Canada you will always be close to my heart…

Some pictures of my Canada Adventure…

The Old Montreal Hostel 

Messages from my friends and family

McGill …

Thanks for reading…  Story of the snow needs another article… 😛

And sometimes I miss myself…

Have you ever remembered your school days and thought how different you were back then. Shy and awkward then, confident and bold now or the opposite.. rebellious then, dull now (Not always but we all know that accepting the things as they are is a bit dull)

There was a time when you were planning to see the world or even change it, you had plans to break all those barriers which were stopping that little teenage heart to live on its own terms. Remember when you had that superb business idea which you knew would make you the next Bill Gates or first of your name. The gig with the guitar which was supposed to get you a lot more than just your crush’s number. That amazing idea of owning a private jet or your own football or an IPL team .. and now all of this is a thing of past?? At least one thing must have come in your mind and now you are smiling that how crazy you were.. For me, it was to fly a MiG type fighter jet and see the aerial view of the world..   Look how pretty :))))

No, I am not writing one of those leave everything and follow your heart article. I don’t understand why tv people think that following your heart only means, take an Enfield, wear a leather jacket and just go to Ladhak.. Aree Mountains don’t call everyone( I will rant about this later).

I am just wondering that when did we stop dreaming big and why??? When did these little life’s chaos make us forget about our beautiful daydreams? I am an over-optimistic person (sometimes) and have often told by my friends not to expect anything from anyone… This line gave me my answer. It hit me then, that in trying not to expect anything from others have made us have very low expectations from ourselves. The negativities that we saw around, the rejections that we faced and expectations which never made it to reality… have made us so dull.. and I can’t accept this… Now that have realized the problem let’s find a solution.

Dare to have high expectations from yourself in everything… every day.. Whenever you think an idea is so impractical, think of how 15 years old you would have reacted to that idea.. find your enthusiasm in him/her and just take that risk…. It might sound stupid to your well trained dull adult mind but this will definitely give a little room to breathe to your innocent heart…  Maybe it will not lead to a MiG and the Aerial view(me dreaminggg) but it might lead you to a better, positive, happyy place..